1. Perhaps its not the days when your eyes don't meet mine, singing their regular lullabies that always weaken my knees, and I fall, fall, fall...
2. Its not those phone calls either, that happen when you're gone away, and I pray for your welfare, even though I don't believe in Him. But for you, maybe I'm willing to.
3. I know its not the times when I don't think about proximity, or my fears, or anything at all, not the times when I don't think my mind is on a leash, it's locked, it can't wander off, and you're right beside me, and it seems to me only you hold the keys.
4. Its not the days when I read poems written by friends and acquaintances long lost, hoping to make sense of their words and, in them, find you...
5. Certainly isn't when a gush of wind swoops me to my feet and I hear them whisper, carrying stories from distant lands and planting them into my ears, and in turn, my heart.
6. I know its not on the mornings when I awake early to watch the sun peek over the horizon, and see for myself if it looks as beautiful as they say it does.
7. Never the nights when leaves rustle loud and the only thing I hear is the scrape of the rake on the concrete, and then on the mud, and wonder how it always leaves bruises on my chest.
8. Maybe it is on afternoons when I'd wait for you no more than precisely 20 minutes, and we'd wrap gifts for a friend, but I'd forget to wrap it because I'd be staring at you, thinking, "Maybe, maybe this is it. Maybe it is now."
9. Or maybe it's on evenings like these when it rains, and skies turn a pink shade of forgiveness, when I look down from the balcony and the ground seems a million miles away, and the sky almost in reach, if only I could step on the ledge and climb above, and oh, a misstep, and I fall and I fall and I fall, for an eternity.
10. Maybe it isn't, because it isn't meant to be. "Do you believe in destiny?" I'd imagine myself asking you this question.
11. I have prayed for you so much that I am now a believer.
12. It's all part of a plan.
PS - I miss you.
